I shall call you, Evey.

9 pages in my journal today... you know something crazy is happening... especially since the last time I wrote was January 2011.

The end.


PS: I bought a new car yesterday! She's a 2009 Toyota Camry Hybrid. Her name is Evey. In the words of my niece, "it looks like a spy car." She is black with dark tinted windows... Keyless entry and push to start... I feel like I am driving a luxury car! AND, if I drive eco-friendly (get a high enough average mpg for the drive), she congratulates me! It's like playing a game every time I get in the car... On the way to work this morning, I got over 40mpg almost the entire way... I got an, "EXCELLENT!" from her. She makes me feel good about myself. :)

The Urge To Write, or, Why A Memoir, Rogue?

When the world sleeps, I sit at my computer with the urge to write. I want to share all, but I am constantly left with an empty window, a blank canvas. Topics overflow in my head throughout my days, but when I want to let them out, they disappear. Some of the topics that arise in my overused mind are those same topics that I cannot create the words to describe how I feel, or even those that are not for the public eye. What is a self-proclaimed writer to do?!

---

Plenty to listen, none to hear.

Plenty to prescribe, none to heal.

If a flare shot through the night sky

it wouldn't be seen, but with a blind eye.

---

After the post of my first official memoir, "What's in a Name," I was asked by a few people to explain the name of my blog. The words "memoir" and "rogue" have many definitions, many of which are antagonists to my cause. For the sake of digging myself out of a hole that I have gotten myself in, I will take it upon myself to point out the true definitions I was going for. After all, I did think long and hard of a good name for the blog and my writings.

From the New Oxford American Dictionary:

• memoir |ˈmemˌwär; -ˌwôr|
• noun
• A historical account or biography written from personal knowledge or special sources
• An autobiography or a written account of one's memory of certain events or people.
• An essay on a learned subject
• The proceedings or transactions of a learned society
• rogue |rōg|
• noun
• A dishonest or unprincipled man
• a person whose behavior one disapproves of but who is nonetheless likable or attractive
• An elephant or other large wild animal driven away or living apart from the herd and having savage or destructive tendencies
• a person or thing that behaves in an aberrant, faulty, or unpredictable way
• an inferior or defective specimen among many satisfactory ones, esp. a seedling or plant deviating from the standard variety

The bolded parts of the definitions are the purpose for my choosing each word - despite the fact that some would call me a large wild animal and/or dishonest and unprincipled. 

Maybe I should have thought a little longer and harder?

---

I may or may not have just covered one of my bedroom walls with a quote right now IF I had paint. Just throw it on the wall. Like, "BAM! There's a quote on my wall!" What quote, you ask?

A quote by a gentleman by the name of Mr. Winston Churchill. It goes a little somethin' somethin' like this:

"Never give in. Never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."

Thanks for tempting me, Sir Winston. Good day.

What's In A Name?

Sometimes I get in writing monsoons, and sometimes I get in writing droughts. The past few days have been a drought. Currently, we are in a monsoon. Two posts within 24 hours. Dang.

Now that we have that out of the way...

Though I am up and down on the spirituality meter, I like to think of myself as a spiritual guy. Yeah, I often do stupid things that God would frown upon, but I still have my faith. Most of my posts have at least a mention of something spiritual, and depending on my audience or group of people I am with, I will talk more or less about spiritual things. But when I am staring at a screen with oblivion ahead of me to fill, I feel open and willing to discuss almost anything. Almost. 

[DISLCAIMER: For the non-religious and/or non-spiritual, this post deals with my musing on what I see as spiritual matters. Regardless, I perceive the information presented as beneficial to those on every level of the spiritual spectrum to pull from, whether Atheist, Agnostic, Wiccan, Pagan, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, and/or the Religious Zealot. What I mean to say is, just because I mention spirituality doesn't mean you should stop reading. Hopefully you will get something out of it!]

Maybe if I stop going off on tangents, I might eventually get to my main points. Well, spiritual me went to a spiritual class tonight. The spiritual topics got my spirit senses tingling. Let the memoir commence:

Memoirs of a Latter-Day Rogue: What's In A Name?

A name is more than a combination of letters on a birth certificate. A name is a sacred thing. It is your identity. It is how people address you and get to know you. It is the one label that we tend to cherish above all else - One has a sense of fame and utmost value as their name is remembered by peers and acquaintances. Memories, histories, likes and dislikes, hobbies, preferences, and the epitome of THE INDIVIDUAL is wrapped up in a name. 

My name is Peter C. Moosman.

If you want to get down to the nitty gritty, you could say my name is Peter C. Moosman, Child of God and Disciple of Christ, Member of the LDS Faith, Executive Vice President of Salt Lake Community College, Citizen of the United States of America, et al.

Quite the name, eh? The interesting thing is that it is longer (and living). Yup, you got it. It changes constantly. Some of you have probably caught on to what I am saying, while others may be a little confused. Let me explain. 

Every position I hold and every mantle I carry gives me a title - an extension of my name. I have a responsibility to represent it well. It is who I am, regardless of whether it is a weekend or not, whether I am well known or unknown. I can't escape it. 

If, by some miracle, I was to leave the country and visit a foreign land (yeah, I wish!), people would EXPECT certain behavior to come from me as a US citizen. I want people to see my behavior (a positive one, of course) and have a better view of the United States than they did before they met me. Likewise, I want people to have a better view of Salt Lake Community College, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, the Family of God, and even the Moosman family.

Not only do I have the responsibility to represent it well, but I must also live up to the expectation of the name I hold. When many people hear my name, they ask me if I am related to [insert name here] Moosman. I am told over and over again how I have great parents or grandparents. I do NOT want to diminish the name of the Moosman family and what it stands for: virtue, honesty, integrity, and every other positive characteristic the Moosmans have worked to uphold. 

When I tell people that I am from Utah, I am often asked if I am Mormon. When I say yes, you better believe I am expected to act just as a Mormon would act, including the busting of myths and stereotypes rather than reinforcing them. Every mantle has an expectation. Do I fall short? Do I get by? Or do I exceed expectation and revolutionize the understanding of that mantle?

Lets dig deeper.

My name is Peter C. Moosman.

Peter is greek, meaning "rock." Growing up, I HATED this name... who wanted to be a rock? My friends had names that meant "great warrior" and other amazing meanings, while I was stuck with "a stone." Luckily, as I grew, so did my understanding. I felt that my name became a calling. I was to be a rock: a firm foundation, unmovable and bold. To this day, I think of the characteristics of my name and strive to become a better person because of it.

I was named after Simon Peter, who was one of the first Apostles of Jesus Christ, as found in the New Testament of the Bible. Big deal, right? RIGHT. It is a very big deal. Peter was the chief Apostle and took over the church after Christ was crucified. He was a special man, one to be revered. He was so revered in his day as a Man of God that people would lay their sick and afflicted in the streets, having the faith that if Peter's SHADOW were to touch them as he walked by, they would be healed [Acts 5: 15-16]. He dedicated his whole self to the service of others and the glorifying of Christ. He was humble, he was dedicated, he was compassionate.

Though I will never achieve the capacity of spiritual progression and power that Simon Peter held, I do have a great namesake to be my example. I feel that with the name I hold, I am given a responsibility to magnify the name. Peter is not just a "rock," but an "unmovable, firm foundation, defending truth and goodness in all things. A bold defender of the Faith." Yeah, a big deal.

What does your name mean? How can you find strength, conviction, and goodwill within it?

Yes, the name "Peter" has quite the mantle, but imagine carrying the weight of the name of something greater: Jesus Christ. Whether you recognize Him as the Son of God or simply an influential storyteller, one who carries his name carries a hefty responsibility. This is the King of Kings, Lord of Lord, and Only Begotten of the Father we are talking about! Who wants to put a blemish on His name? Of course, nobody would. Unfortunately, I seem to mess things up more often than not... BUT I try to keep the name clean. When we slip up, we dust ourselves off and try again.

What am I doing with Christ's name...? Like I mentioned above, as I carry the name of Christ, I am given a responsibility to magnify that name. What did Jesus Christ teach? How am I living? Are the two in harmony? I am not just talking about the obvious things about attending church and wearing a CTR ring, but what about dining with the sinners and publicans? Loving the enemies and understanding the unbeliever? Recognizing the royal blood in everyone and cherishing the opportunity to learn, grow, and testify with them. 

To clarify why I am talking about having Christ's name: I believe that by labeling myself as a Christian, and a baptized member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I have essentially taken His name upon me. "My name is Peter Moosman, Disciple of Christ." Though I do not introduce myself in this manner, I do feel that my actions, character, and countenance should. That speaks louder than any words I could say on the matter anyway.

I hope I am making sense.

Now for the confessions.... I will be the first to admit that I am one of the farthest from "Poster Child" status for the aforementioned principles. It is quite the challenge to maintain perfection, you know?! Seriously though, I have had my fair share of  detours on the road to reflecting the message and morals contained within each name I hold, from the names on my birth certificate to the names I adopt through this seemingly nonsensical life. At times they are glorified, and others they are tainted. Regardless, I have the opportunity to pull from the power-source which is a name. My name. Peter C. Moosman.