Influence

So I promised that I would share with you my superpower [the one I don't already have...].

Maybe it is a really good idea, and maybe it is not, but nonetheless: I want the superpower to be able to allow or disallow any outside influence into my life. What I mean by this is that I want to be able to decide how I am influenced. Right now, everything I see and hear, do and don't do, influences who I am. How people/society/earthlings act towards one another, themselves, et al. Even supernatural forces influence me and my blessed subconscious. For better or for worse, I am a sponge. We are all sponges. Yeah, I said that.

Now, Imagine with me being 100% conscious of EVERY ounce of influence you obtain. I choose, you choose. Timshel. Now, don't get me wrong, I get to choose how I react to certain situations and I get to choose how I respond to people. But try to deny that we are all slaves to our habits. Habits control us. Oft times we are influenced without us even realizing, until down the road we catch ourselves doing the very act. Habit-ed / Addicted.

Or what about the influence of mass media and/or society. A lot of times I think I am my own individual, but then I turn around and see a handful of other people sporting the same style, listening to the same music. Was it my own individuality that decided to act or dress a certain way, or was it subconsciously embedded into my thought process. Woah.

Sleep on that one.

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Before I sign off (after all, it is midnight...), I just want to say one more thing. Today, we finished off interviews for the Senate. We got some stellar new senators. Unfortunately, we had to turn away a lot of stellar students that would have been stellar senators. Luckily for me, I had the opportunity to make the calls to break the news... Talk about one of the worse experiences. Ever. I hate the fact that I have to turn people away from learning and growing opportunities. Even more terrible: I had to tell someone face to face that they were no longer a senator (after a year of service). Regardless of who was in the right, it has proven to be one of the WORSE EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE. It is one thing to call up a stranger on the phone to tell them that they didn't make the position, but it is a whole different game telling a friend, face to face, that they need to pursue different opportunities. Bah. 

To top off the night, I just spent over 5 minutes trying to figure out which would be proper english in the sentences above: "worse" or "worst." I am still unsure! Who came up with this language, anyway?! 

The Darkest Hour

So, I wrote this last night at 1:00am. Don't look too much into it...

Emotionless

Blank stares,

like x-ray vision,

looking off into oblivion

Into my own fears, regrets and wishes.

Trapped

in the hustling and the bustling

of the day, week, month, year.

In the silence and lonesome that haunts me

Nostalgia

It hurts and heals,

Develops and destroys.

I wish for nothing less than a pause

- A stand still -

Rather, decay consumes.

I digress.

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You think it sounds good.

Your thoughts deceive you.

There is nothing good about it - 

other than its sickening truth

written between the lines

and on my heart

[with pins and needles and sleepless nights]

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Anyway, we have been interviewing candidates for the Student Senate this week and will finish up tomorrow. There have been some great people to come through the doors. I am bummed I can't take them all. We decided to spice things up in the interviews, and did so by adding an interview question: "If you could have a superpower, what would you have and why?" Its great to see everyones face lighten up when we ask the question (I know, we are so intimidating - and/or dry - in our interviews). I thought about it for myself and came up with a superpower. Unfortunately for you [if you want to consider it unfortunate], I am not gonna share it today. You will just need to wait until my next post, and I will write ALL ABOUT IT. Until then, what superpower would you have and why?

Over and out.